In the Passionate Pilgrim, William Shakespeare, wisely speaks of friendship in this way, “Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find: Every man will be thy friend; While thou hast money to spend; But if store of crowns be scant, No man will supply thy want.” Faithful friends are hard to find because most friends do not want to give to you but rather to take something from you. The rich and the popular will have many acquaintances yet few friends. Friendship is not about flattery or personal gain. True biblical friendship is meant to point us to Christ and truth.
C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, used their friendship to mutually sharpen and encourage one another to create two worlds, Narnia and Middle Earth, that has inspired a generation to see the gospel through their allegory and mythology. Lewis’s and Tolkien’s friendship lasted for almost 40 years. Tolkien and Lewis shared much in common. Both had lost their mothers to death at an early age, and Tolkien had lost his father as well. Both as young boys made close friends with fellow students at school who shared their love for stories. Both were young soldiers who fought in the First World War on the French front. Both were seriously wounded, both saw death in battle, and both lost close friends in that brutal war of the trenches. They had regular correspondence with each other sharing ideas on their writing projects and encouraging each other personally. A few days after Lewis’s death, Tolkien wrote to Lewis daughter, Pricilla,
So far I have felt the normal feelings of a man my age — like an old tree that is losing all its leaves one by one: this feels like an axe-blow near the roots.
Faithful friends are hard to find and losing one seems almost unbearable. Early that year, Lewis wrote to Tolkien, commenting on his influence on Lewis,
All my philosophy of history hangs upon a sentence of your own, ‘Deeds were done which were not wholly in vain.
Their friendship was not in vain. They were not in it for themselves. They cared deeply for the success and well-being of each other.
As a pastor, I deeply desire for life to go well for you. But what does it mean for life to go well? If a friend asked you, “How are you?” or “Is it well with you?” What comes to mind? Is it well with the Lord? Family? Friends? Finances? Job? Car? There are so many things that go into our overall well-being. We do not live compartmentalized lives. We live interconnected lives. Let me use the introduction of the briefest letter in the New Testament to ask you, “how are you doing?” or “Is it well with you?”
Is it well with your Friendships?
3 John is the older letter written by the Elder Apostle to an individual and not a church or a group of churches. John writes to Gaius. There are three different Gaius’s mentioned in the New Testament.
Gaius of Corinth, who after his baptism by Paul became host to the apostle and to ‘the whole church’ (1 Cor. 1:14; Rom. 16:23)…Gaius of Macedonia, linked with Aristarchus of Thessalonica as one of Paul’s companions, who suffered in the riot at Ephesus (Acts 19:29); and Gaius of Derbe, who travelled with Paul on his last journey from Greece through Macedonia at least as far as Troas and was probably his church’s delegate for the transmission of the collection for the poor in Judea (Acts 20:4).
Gaius was a common Gentile name so it is too difficult with any sort of certainty to determine which of the three New Testament Gaius’s John is writing too. Although we do not know which Gaius, we know that John loved Gaius. He called him, “Beloved,” four times in these brief 15 verses as well as clearly stating his love in verse 1, “whom I love in truth.” (v.1, 2, 5, 11) Their relationship was built on a mutual encouragement in the truth.
Friendships have the great power to push us towards Christ or to pull us from Christ. Kelly Needham writes that,
The essence of Christian friendship is companionship forged in the fire of two convictions: 1) Jesus alone can satisfy the soul and 2) his kingdom alone is worth living for. Christian friendship is a treasure because it helps us cling to our greatest Treasure. Conversely, the worst distortion of friendship arises when a friend encourages us, consciously or unconsciously, to place our affections elsewhere.
Are your friendships mainly defined by a common love for an activity or a common love for Christ? True friends help us love Christ. Is it well with your friendships?
What kind of friend are you? Are you the kind of friend that lovingly confronts when you see your friends drifting into sin? Do you encourage them to walk in the truth and obedience? Do you bear their burdens with love and carry them to the Father in prayer? Does your friendship draw them into a deeper, joy filled, truth saturated delight in Christ? Is it well with your friendships?
Friendships are one of the sweetest gifts one could have in life. They are precious and hard to find, but worth the effort to cultivate for the glory of God. Children, choose your friends wisely. One of the most important decisions you’ll ever make are your friends. Be kind to your friends. Treat them with love and grace. If you see your friends saying or doing things they shouldn’t confront them and push them to Christ. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Bad company corrupts good character,” so do not let your character be corrupted by walking with in the company of sinners or sitting in the seat of scoffers. Good company builds good character so choose your friends wisely.
Friendships are hard to maintain. They take effort. They take time. They take sacrifice and inconvenience. And they are worth it. Build friendships. Find people in your life that you want to emulate and spend time with them. Let us see the deep affection John had for Gaius as an example of the affection we should strive to cultivate with our friendships. True friends will help you love Jesus and others more. Pray for godly friends for the sake of godliness.
Is it well with your Body?
John begins with a customary greeting in the first century, “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.” We do not have any context of Gaius’s physical health. John knew of Gaius’s spiritual health as we will discuss in a moment, but he may not have known of his physical health or he may have known something was off with his body and was praying for his healing. John’s concern for Gaius’s physical health reminds us that we are embodied souls: souls with bodies, bodies with souls. Our spiritual lives are affected by our physical lives and vice versa. Christianity has long been influenced by Platonic thought that speaks of the body or the physical, material life is bad while the spiritual is good. God made the body good and breathed his spirit into man. Both body and the soul were created good, but corrupted at the fall in the Garden.
Jesus cares about the body, because he came to redeem both the soul and body. Part of the hope we have as Christians is a renewed body. Paul writes in Philippians 3:20, “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.” Our bodies will be transformed to be like his glorious body. Two of the greatest twin truths of Christianity is that 1) God dwelt with man in a body, Col 2:9, “For in Jesus the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily,” and 2) Jesus redeemed the body by allowing his body to be crucified, and buried and then being raising from the dead bodily. Jesus lived and died and rose again to redeem not only our souls but our bodies.
As Christians, we want to have a biblical view of health and the body. To create a solid biblical worldview you need two things. You need to understand what the Bible teaches on a topic and how the world, or the culture you live in, contradicts or twists what the Bible teaches. We cannot be naive to think that we will not be influenced by our culture as Christians. How can we, as Christians, have a proper view of the body and our physical health?
Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit – 1 Corinthians 6:19, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” We should care for our physical bodies. We should strive to be good stewards of them which means we should be wise in what we put in our bodies in regards to food or drink. We should desire to use our hands and feet, our members, for God’s glory and not for sin, Romans 6:13, “Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.” God has redeemed your body so use it for his glory.
Your fleshly body wants to be your Master – Romans 6:12, “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.” Sin wants to be king in your body to make you obey its desires and passions. It wants you to be its slave. 1 Corinthians 6:12–14
[12] “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. [13] “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. [14] And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.
And Philippians 3:18-19,
[18] For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. [19] Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.
Is your body an instrument or righteousness or is it your master? Are you a slave to your body?
We are trying to hold these two truths in balance. First, that the body is good and is a temple of the Holy Spirit that the Lord Jesus redeemed through his bodily death and bodily resurrection. And, secondly, the body is corrupted by the fall and wants you to obey its desires. Are you a slave to sexual pleasure? Is pornography or sexual satisfaction or immorality your god? Your passion for sexual pleasure is your body waging war within you wanting to be your god. Turn to Christ. Are you a slave to food? Is your stomach and its desires controlling you? Your passion for food is your body waging war within you wanting to be your god. Turn to Christ. Are you a slave to a certain body image? Is your desire to look a certain way controlling you? Your passion to have a certain body image is your body waging war within you wanting to be your god. Turn to Christ. Are you a slave to being healthy? Is your desire to not get sick controlling you? Your passion to avoid illness is your body waging war within you wanting to be your god. Turn to Christ.
How we view and how we use our bodies are very personal matters. And the personal matters are usually the areas where we need the most help from others but are also the areas we do not want anyone to bring up. I do not know what each one of you individually needs to hear in regards to your body and health, but I, like the Apostle John, want all to go well with you and for you to be in good health. I want you to be physically healthy and to have a healthy view and use of the body for the glory of the Lord. The body is meant for the Lord. I pray you use it well.
Is it well with your Soul?
John wote to Gaius not knowing exactly of his physical health, but knew of his spiritual health. He wrote, “as it goes well with your soul.” He knew it was going well with his soul because of how he was living and loving others. 3 John 3, “For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, as indeed you are walking in the truth.” Gaius was living for the Lord and walking in the truth. Those who came to John reported how he was caring for the body of Christ and living in obedience to the Lord. Beloved, is it well with your soul? This is a question we should be regularly asking ourselves and our friends.
Although we should desire to be in good health, our spiritual life is more important than physical life. Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4:7-8, “Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather, train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” Our citizenship is in heaven and we await a Savior from there. Our hope is ultimately not in this life but in the one that is to come. One day God will transform our lowly bodies to be like his glorious body. If it is well with our soul, we can handle whatever happens to our bodies. Psalm 112 speaks of the hope of the righteous man, who reminds me of Gaius in this letter,
Psalm 112:5–9
[5] It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;
who conducts his affairs with justice.
[6] For the righteous will never be moved;
he will be remembered forever.
[7] He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD.
[8] His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.
[9] He has distributed freely; he has given to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever;
his horn is exalted in honor.
Gaius lived for others. He gave generously to those who were in need and lived for the cause of the gospel of Christ.
Horatio Spafford penned that glorious hymn, It is Well, in response to terrible news. Spafford was in England working with D.L. Moody on a crusade for the gospel. He sent his wife and his children back to America, but the ship never made it to shore being hit by an iron sailing vessel. As the story comes, Spafford was traveling back to be with his wife who survived, when the captain called Spafford to the bridge and told him that they were passing the same spot where the ship sunk with his daughters. He went back to his cabin and penned those famous lines,
When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul
If you are not a follower of Jesus, I pray that you have seen Christians demonstrate hope in the midst of extreme trials. The hymn helps explain why Christians are not afraid of the day of bad news. Christians can overcome tragedy because our hope is that God has already dealt with an even greater tragedy; the tragedy of our sin and rebellion against God. We deserve death but God has offered us life in Christ. God is offering you life today. If you believe that Jesus lived a perfect life and died in your place to pay for your sins on the cross. And if you believe that Jesus not only died, but was raised on the third day as a promise for a future resurrection for everyone who trusts in Christ. If you believe that Jesus died and rose again, you will be saved and it will be well with your soul. Christians can handle tragedy because it is well with our soul. Our bodies may have cancer. Our friends may desert us. We may face financial ruin and relational strife. Through trails should come, we let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded our helpless estate
And has shed His own blood for our soul
We have in his glorious thought that,
My sin, not in part, but the whole
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
Friend, there is nothing greater than to be able to say, it is well with your soul. I pray it will be well with your soul before you live this gathering. If you know it is not well with your soul, talk to someone here. We would love to talk to you about the hope we have in Jesus.
The brothers came and testified to Gaius’ truth. They reported how Gaius lived for others and was trusting in Christ with his possessions and resources. He was walking in accordance with the truth. If someone came and reported on your life, would it be the same for you? Would they speak of your generosity to others? Your kindness and love for the saints? Your steadfast obedience to the truth of the gospel? By God’s grace I regularly hear those reports of you. May the Lord in his kindness keep us in his truth. And may he return those who have been walking apart from it. May we be a people who love the truth and live by the truth.
Is it well with your Joy?
What we celebrate reveals what we value. John’s joy reveals that he values when his children are walking in the truth. “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” What do you rejoice in? What you rejoice in reveals what you value. Is it well with you joy?
If someone asks you, “How are you doing?” or “Is it well with you?” How would you answer? How do you define wellness? Notice that John had joy based on what he saw in others and not what he saw in himself. He had no greater joy than to see his children walking in the truth. The aim of John’s life was not personal happiness but God’s glory. He lived for the good of others. When we focus on our own circumstances, we may be obscuring our eyes from joy as we see what God is doing in the lives of others.
I have no greater joy than to hear that my own children are walking in the truth and that the people of God at Park Baptist are walking in the truth. It gives me so much joy to hear the stories of God’s grace in your lives. We can measure success as a church based on our attendance and budget or we can measure our success on whether we are walking in the truth. Numbers are not a bad indicator of spiritual health, but they are not the primary indicator. The primary indicator of our spiritual health as a church is whether we are walking closely with Jesus Christ; walking in truth and love.
J.C. Ryle closed a sermon he preached on this text with the challenge asking would the Elder John rejoice over you,
Ask yourselves then, everyone, “Would John, if he knew me at this time, rejoice over me? Would John be pleased if he saw my ways and my behavior, or would he look sorrowful?” O children, children—do not neglect this question. This is no light matter. It may be your life.
And even beyond the Apostle John, if God were to look at your life would he be pleased. If God were to ask you, “Is it well with you? What would you say? Is it well with friendships? Your body? Your soul? Would God rejoice over you as one who is walking in the truth?
Beloved, I pray that God will rejoice in all of us as we walk in the truth. For he has no greater joy that to know his children are walking in the truth of the gospel for his glory.
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