In the 1989 Disney Classic, the Little Mermaid, King Triton banished Ursula, the Seawitch, from the palace because of her greed and use of dark magic. Ursula was motivated by a deep desire for revenge against King Triton and desperately wanted to return to power and pre-eminence under the Sea. Ursula is one of the greatest villains in the history of cinema. As the story unfolds, she briefly captures the trident from the King and becomes first in the sea, and bellows the cry buried in every human heart,
“You pitiful, insignificant fools! Now I am the ruler of all the ocean! The waves obey my every whim. The sea and all its spoils bow to my power!”
Ursula wanted to be like God. She wanted to be the ruler of the world. She looked down on others as pitiful, insignificant fools compared to her. She wanted everything to bow to her power. She wanted to be pre-eminent. Ursula loved to put herself first.
I wonder how many of you when you first watched the Little Mermaid identified with Ursula. We want to identify with the hero and heroine of the story, but rarely want to see ourselves as the villain. The reality is that buried in every human heart is the sinister, evil desire to say, “Now I am the ruler. Everything bows to my power.” We want to be like god. We want to be the ruler. We want to pre-eminent. In our sin, without the Spirit of Christ, we all are the villains of the story.
As we look at the villain of 3 John, Diotrephes, who loved to put himself first, let us ask God to reveal the ways we are like this villain and ask God to help us walk more like the hero of 3 John, indeed the hero of all of the Holy Scriptures, Jesus Christ. In order to be like Jesus, we have to first realize how unlike him we are.
Do you Insist on being First? (v.9-10)
3 John is the shortest letter in the New Testament. It has only 15 verses and more than halfway through the letter everything is positive. The letter takes a sharp turn at verse 9 as it introduces the villain, 3 John 9–10
[9] I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. [10] So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.
We do not have a lot of the details regarding the letter that John wrote. It is most likely not 1 or 2John, but a letter that has been lost to us. There are three main views of the conflict between John and Diotrephes.
Conflict over Ecclesial Authority – Diotrephes was acting as a dictatorial monarchical bishop and questioned John’s authority over the church. Some scholars say John was the one pushing his authority over the church in an unhealthy way which is why John’s request was rejected.
Conflict over Doctrinal Orthodoxy – Diotrephes was one of the false teachers mentioned in 1 and 2 John. Others view that Diotrephes was trying to protect the church against the false teachers and John’s request was encouraging false teaching to be welcomed into the church.
Conflict due to Misunderstanding – There were two sets of missionaries that came from John, one group being sound in their Christology and the other unbeknownst to John had developed a heretical view of Christ, and John and Diotrephes had a misunderstanding of which group was welcomed of not welcomed.
We do not know the exact request that John made but it seems John made a request to welcome doctrinal sound traveling Christian missionaries that was rejected by Diotrephes. His rejection of the missionaries would have been a rejection of John.
In John’s Gospel, if one were to receive Jesus Christ then they would not only be receiving Jesus Christ, but the one who sent Him. (John 5:23; 12:44–45; 13:20; 14:24). To reject Jesus Christ was to reject the one who sent him. John had to confront Diotrephes for rejecting the missionaries sent by John because it was rejecting him. In the honor/shame culture of the first century, to reject one’s authority like this had to be addressed which was one of the reasons that prompted this letter. Diotrephes was probably a leader of a nearby church to Gaius. Gaius was in a position to address the conflict with Diotrephes and to work for unity in accord with sound doctrine in the church.
Jesus Christ is the hero of every page of Scripture. I believe It is important that when you read the Scripture to identify with the villains so you can realize our need for a hero. We are sinners and need a Savior. We are villains and need a hero. The Greek word used for Diotrephes in 3 John for, “who likes to put himself first,” is philoprōteuō. This is the only use in the entire New Testament, but the root word is used in Colossians 1:18 speaking of Jesus, “And he [Jesus] is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.” Diotrephes was trying to be pre-eminent or first.
How many times does the desire “to be first” rule our hearts? Think back to the last argument you had or the last time you were angry and ask was the root of that argument and anger because you were not treated as pre-eminent? Your opinion or your way was not honored as the best or it was not received as the first. Have you ever been to a restaurant and have been waiting for a table and someone who got their after you went in before you? I have seen the desire to be first rule my heart in those moments and many others. 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love does not insist on its own way; is not irritable or resentful.” Love does not desire to be first.
Beloved, how often are we unloving. How often do we insist on our own way. How often do we put ourselves first. When we do, we fall to the lie of the Garden, “desiring to be like god,” the ruler in that moment. Beloved, we must constantly be on guard for the desire to be first for it can ruin unity in the home and the church. Rather, “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross.” (Phil 2:5-8) Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)
Let me ask you a series of questions from the text to see if you are like Diotrephes, the villain, who loved to put himself first.
Do you acknowledge the authority of others?
Diotrephes did not acknowledge the authority of John and the Apostles. He refused to listen to John and follow his counsel. How do you handle authority? Children, do you submit to your parents authority? Do you obey when they ask you to do your chores or to serve the family? Every time you reject that authority, you become the villain. Employees, do you joyfully submit to your bosses following their leadership even if you do not fully with their decisions? If they are not leading you into sin, you should work heartily as for the Lord not for men, for you are serving the Lord Christ at your jobs. Church members, do you joyfully submit to the elders? Do you pray for them and their leadership? Do you grumble against them? Beloved, do you bristle against the Lord’s commands? Do you only accept a portion of God’s Word? Or do you accept it as what it really is, not the word of man, but the very word of God? How you respond to authority is very often an indicator of your spiritual health?
And a word to those in authority, as Christians, you are not called to lead like the Gentiles who lord their authority over people. Christian leadership is not about getting your own way, but about serving others. Remember Jesus words in Mark 10:42–45 ,
“You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. [43] But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, [44] and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. [45] For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Elders, we are called to be servants and called to give our lives for the sake of God’s people. Let us labor to make it a delight for our congregation to follow us. Husbands, you are called to serve and give yourself for your wives. Labor in sacrificial service for your wife and children so that it would be a delight for them to follow your leadership.
Do you gossip about others?
John was planning a visit to deal with Diotrephes face to face. He had to deal with his gossip and slander. “So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us.” God hates slander. It is evil and wicked. Do not take any part in it. My goodness, I have seen many people posting and tweeting and liking and commenting on “wicked nonsense.” When you join the chorus of slander, you become the villain. Are you fighting to see the best in others? Do your words push others towards unity or division? Do your words promote the truth or lies?
Be careful, beloved, not to fall into wicked ad hominem tactic maligning a person made in the image of God and not dealing with their position. Be careful, beloved, not to support nonsensical conspiracy theories that diminish our witness to the world. Remember the words of the Lord Jesus Christ, “I tell you, on that day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37). Do your words justify or condemn you?
Do you welcome others?
Diotrephes did not accept John’s authority and slandered him, but his attacks did not stop against John. “And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers.” Again, we do not know Diotrphes motivation for refusing to welcome them. He could have associated these brothers with false teachers. He could have rejected them because he had a personal beef with John. We do know the reason, but we do know that these were brothers and sisters in Christ and part of the family of God and were refused by Diotrephes. Diotrephes showed partially. He welcomed some that he deemed worthy and not others.
Do you welcome others? Or are there some brothers and sisters who deem unworthy? To welcome is to receive, appreciate, value, accept them into your life. Welcoming other believers into your life means you treat them as a co-heirs of the kingdom of Christ. Welcoming others as Christ has welcomed you. When you do not welcome others who are different than you, then you are putting yourself first and becoming the villain. Beloved, be aware of the ideology of putting yourself and your group first. We see it in politics, in ethnicity, in gender, in wealth, etc. God shows no partiality, neither should we. Do you welcome others?
Do you help others welcome others?
Diotrephes did not welcome the brothers or the sisters. He showed partiality. And it was extended beyond just those he denied, but he stopped others from trying to welcome them, “And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.” Diotrephes would not tolerate anyone not following his authority absolutely. If anyone tried to welcome who he denied, he had them put out of the church. He was a dictatorial, toxic, abusive leader. He was destroying Christ’ church. When leaders forget that the church belongs to Jesus Christ, they often become like Diotrephes. Sadly, the story is way too common.
We have to be careful with our doctrine, but we also have to be charitable with those who are not exactly like us. We live in a dangerous day. We are in danger of drifting into heresy on the one side in being too welcoming of worldly ideologies and we are in danger of drifting to the other side of refusing to welcome brothers and sisters because they do not fit into our theological camp. We want to be theologically precise and theologically gracious. We want to love in the truth. Diotrephes could have thought he was protecting the church while he was ruining it. Are we leading others to refuse or to welcome brothers and sisters in Christ? If they have been born again, blood-bought sinners turned saints, let us welcome them as Christ has welcomed us.
Love does not put itself first. It does not insist on its own way. Let us be a people who do not desire to be first for they will be last. Let us be last in this age so that we may be first in the age to come.
What do you Imitate? (v.11-12)
John turns back from his rebuke of Diotrephes to warn and remind Gaius to imitate good. The first two commands in this short letter appear in verse eleven, 3 John 11, “Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.” John again addresses his dear friend to do what is right. We are by nature imitators. We become what we behold. Children mimic their parents. Students mimic their teachers. Disciples mimic their discipler. Therefore we must be careful who we follow. John calls Gaius, and by extension us, to imitate that which is good.
Individualism is one of the greatest virtues of the American culture. Be true to yourself. You do you. It is also one of the greatest lies. It is a lie because we by our nature are followers and worshippers and servants. We are going to mimic and follow someone. We are going to follow the prince of the power of the air and try to be like god and try to rule or we are going to follow the Prince of Peace and follow his example. There are only two ways to live. We either live for God or ourselves. We either follow God or the evil one. John tells us not to imitate evil but good for whatever we do reveals to whom we belong. “Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.” And in the context of the letter, “whoever loves to put themselves first, has not seen God.” For there is only one who is pre-eminent, who is first, Jesus Christ for he is the only one who is good.
If you are not a follower of Jesus Christ, let me ask you, do you consider yourself good? Or maybe have you ever asked yourself, “how can I receive eternal life?” Jesus was confronted by a man who considered himself good and wanted eternal life. Listen to this man as he approached Jesus, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.” He then told him to keep the ten commandments. And the man replied, “All these I have kept from my youth.” He was telling Jesus that he was good that he lived a good and moral life. But Jesus was not impressed, because the man was not good. He was moral, but he still lived for himself. Jesus invited him to follow him. He only had to let go of his earthly positions, but the man couldn’t. He wanted to rule his own life and would not follow God.
Friend, do you consider yourself good? The Bible says in Romans 3:12, “All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” Friend, you are a sinner. You, and I are the villain of the story. We are not good because of sin. Our sin tells us that we want to be first. We need a hero. Therefore, God sent Jesus Christ to rescue us. He lived a perfect life. It was a truly good life. He committed no sin and was innocent of all transgression. But he did not come to be first, but to serve. He was innocent but he chose to lay down his life for sinners. He died in our place and was dead and buried. But he did not stay in the grave, God raised him from the dead. The cross and the resurrection of Jesus Christ shows us two things. First, we are all villains who like to put ourselves first who deserve to be punished on the cross for our sin. Second, Jesus is the only one who is good therefore in his resurrection Jesus has opened salvation for all who would trust in him. If you would repent of your sins, repent of your pride, repent of your desire to rule and be king over your life, and turn to Christ, you will be saved. You and I are villains who need a hero. Jesus is the only hero that saves! For no one is good but God alone! And if you turn Jesus, Jesus gives you his goodness. He gives you his perfection. Friend, turn to Christ. Trust him as the only source of being truly good. Put yourself first and you will die. Put Jesus first and you will live forever.
John gives us those two twin commands, do not imitate evil and imitate good, then he gives us an example of one who is imitating good. “Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself. We also add our testimony, and you know that our testimony is true.” One scholar notes three things about Demetrius,
First, he is well spoken of by everyone, “an expression found in several places in the New Testament (Acts 6:3; 10:22; 16:2; 22:12; 1 Tim 5:10; Heb 11:2, 4, 3, 39).” The verb “well spoken” (memarturētai) is in the perfect tense and “implies that the testimony to Demetrius had been given over a period of time, and it was still effective.” Everyone (pantōn) is an amazing declaration. It is doubtful everyone (e.g., pagan unbelievers) agreed with Demetrius’s views or appreciated the stands he took. It was the case, however, that all who knew him knew him to be a man of character and integrity. Second, he had the witness of “the truth itself.” Demetrius’s devotion to the truth of the gospel was self-evident. His life was consistent with the truth of the Christian faith. There was a marvelous match between the two. Third, he had the testimony of the elder and his church on his side. The “we” is emphatic and should be understood to include the entire community who had sent Demetrius out. Given this sterling recommendation, Gaius would have more than adequate motivation to receive Demetrius and extend to him the gracious hospitality for which he was so well known.
John is giving an example in which to follow. Gaius is an example in himself, and now we have Demetrius who has passed John’s moral, social and theological test. He is one who lives by love and walks in the truth.
Beloved, we have been called throughout Scripture to imitate what is good. We want to live setting our minds on the things that are above. We want to think about things that are excellent, praiseworthy and pure. We want to meditate on the person and work of Jesus Christ. And we want to call others to follow us as we follow Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Hebrews 13:7, ‘Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of god. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. People are going to follow our examples because that is how we are made. We are followers by nature. And since we are followers by nature, we must follow that which is good so that others may see him who is truly God. We want others to see the light in us so that they may glorify God who is light. May God use our lives imitating the good to brings others into his goodness.
Are you Intentional? (v.13-15)
John concludes this letter with a reminder that we are not alone. We have others who are with us in the fight to imitate the good. 3 John 13–15,
[13] I had much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink. [14] I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. [15] Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends, each by name.
John will come and deal with Diotrephes but he will also come and be with his friend, face to face. I love the simple ending that John gives Gaius. Gaius is laboring for the truth of the gospel. He is sacrificing for the mission of the gospel and John reminds him that he is not alone. The friends greet you. There are others who love you Gaius who miss you and are with you in the fight for the kingdom of God.
Beloved, never believe the lie that you alone. There are people in your life that are with you and for you. Friends. Those who have a deep, mutual affection for you. Who are in your corner. Who are behind. The evil one wants to make you feel alone, do not listen to his lies. Peter writes to the saints, 1 Peter 5:8–11,
[8] Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
The Devil is after you and look what Peter brings to mind,
[9] Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
You have brothers, friends, who are experiencing the same suffering and are with you in it. You can fight the Evil one to know that you have others who are with you.
And therefore, we know that after our suffering and sacrifice,
the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
Beloved, we are not alone. God has come to be with us. And has called us to link arms with each other as friends, brothers and sisters, to pursue Christ together until we are called home.
I have received several calls this past week from church members who have felt incredibly loved and supported and cared for by the body. They have been overwhelmed with the love they have received. And when they tell me how they have been loved, they didn’t just say the body, but called you by name. John reminds Gaius to greet the friends, each by name. Welcome them by name. Welcome them as Christ has welcomed us. Let us learn each other’s name. There is power in a name.
To know someone’s name means you know them. Let us make the effort to learn each other’s names. Let us study the church directory. Let us pray for each other by name. Let work and grow in a greater intimacy with one another. It starts with learning each other’s name. Calling each other by name is a small way we can show our love for each other. And help train our hearts to put others first. Let us welcome our brothers and sisters each by name.
For Jesus, our hero, knows our name. He calls us to himself by our own name. John 10:3, “The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.” Jesus knows your name. He has called you by name and given you a new name. You are a Christian. A follower of Christ. A member of his Body. A servant of the Master. A child God. Jesus knows your name, so live so His Name would be known.
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